When I am rambling about life

party all night long

alcohol

cigarette

branded items

latest gadget

fancy make up

fashionista

hedonism

is it really real?

***

maybe I envy them. maybe I envy their branded shoes, latest gadget, skinny legs, long wavy hair, party all night long, and the fact that they didn't need to worry about money. yes, maybe I envy them for some reasons.

But, without due respect to "those people", I want to thank the Lord that I don't live like them. Let say, if I am the one of them, I won't be the way I am today. A 20 years old ordinary woman with no ordinary life. I can not say that only my life is hard. Life is hard. Everyone has a difficulty for being who he/she is.

sometimes, I blame my life. I blame my life when my dad passed away. I blame my life when my mom was not home everyday. I blame my life when I have to do my laundry all by my self. sometimes, I blame every single thing happens in my life.

I know I was wrong.

I know, if those bad things didn't happen to me, I won't be a semi-independent person. I won't see with another perspective of life. I won't appreciate this life. maybe I'll hurt my self, even more my family and God.

I still believe that God has a master plan and I am on His demand. and He won't leave me all by my self. Troubles make us stronger.

***